I can do better?

If there's one phrase that would sum up what I've been told through all the relatively short relationships I've been in, its "You could do so much better than me."

Well, let me tell you. I would be alright if no one ever said that to me ever ever EVER again.

It makes me want to puke.

Seriously.

I think I know better than anyone else what I want or deserve. Wouldn't you think so?

I am not without flaws. For some reason, it apparently comes off that I have a spotless past or that I've never made a mistake before. All you boys can NOT be that naive to think I have never made a mistake or never done something I've regretted later.

Part of this "better than me" attitude you boys seem to have is you all seem to think I care about the past. The reality is I couldn't care less about your past! The thing that matters most in relationships is the future, not the past. Sure, I'll listen if you want to tell me what all went down but it really isn't so big a deal. So chillax ok?!

Consider this a plea to those in the future of my apparently bland and broken love life.

Let me be the one to decide what I deserve.

Let me be the one to decide what is good enough for me.

Let me be the one to determine some of this stuff, huh?

Here's a clue if you're wondering if I can do better than you or not:

 If I'm with you, then you are what I want.

Simple as that.

I am very capable of making decisions for myself. I can't tell you if you are in fact "good enough" for me if you never give me the freaking chance. So give me the chance to make some decisions for myself before you jump on that "you can do better than me" band wagon.

(I apologize for all the red text. It's because I felt like I was seeing red.)

Good Bye Kristoffer

This is a photo of me and Kristoffer from our first year at BYUI. We got super duper close and became pretty much best friends. We were inseparable. We could carry two conversations at once. We finished each others sentences. We said things at the same time. She got me and I got her.

This time around it's a little different. Kristoffer is getting married. So now I spend a lot of my time alone (hence lonely picture). I hardly ever see her. I've gone days without seeing her this year and we still share an apartment. 

I'll admit, I am a little sad about this. But I'm so incredibly happy for her. She used to say she didn't think she would ever find anyone, that she would die an old maid. I knew all along that she would end up with someone totally perfect for her. And she is.

Juggular (his name's been changed. and he picked his alias) makes her super duper happy. He has replaced me from the days of our first year up here but that's ok. Now, they say things at the same time. Now, they're inseparable. She has finally found a guy worth her time that treats her as stellar as she deserves.

Juggular, I hope you know how spectacular of a future wife you've found. She's one of my best friends and she's always been there for me, someone I could count on. You're taking her away and so you better earn it. Keep up the good work and keep in mind that if you ever ever EVER make a 180 change and start screwing up, I will hunt you down. She deserves the world and I know you will do everything to give it to her.

I'll miss you, Kristoffer. I already do. But,  again, I am super happy for you and wouldn't have things any other way. I always knew you'd get what you deserve :)

Eliza and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

There's this children's picture book called Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day and it is the inspiration for my post today.

Yesterday, we had apartment clean checks. This is where every two weeks, Beaver (changed name, obviously) comes and tells us that we're slobs and need to clean up our act and with that our apartment. Beaver is especially critical of me and my roommates on clean checks and we have no idea why. Yesterday's particular clean check seemed to be fine. Then, Beaver failed me. I was supposed to clean "bathroom b" and I did. Apparently, my cleaning skills are sub par. Beaver came back to recheck me today (which cost five dollars) and FAILED ME AGAIN. Now I have to pay a whopping twenty bucks to have her clean the ALREADY CLEAN bathroom!!! Not good. (side note: I'm going to go talk to the apartment manager and hopefully get this resolved in a different way)

So that adds to my terrible horrible no good very bad day.

Today, I only had one class: Advanced Writing and Critical Thinking. It's one of the general requirements for my graduation year. Sometimes, I take my laptop with me and sit in the hall while NickerBocker is in her class after our class together (adv. writing). Today, I was feeling especially tired and just not good so I decided to come back to the apartment instead. It snowed last night. But just a little so there's that very unsafe dust on everything. I decided to cut through the parking lot thinking it would be easier. I'm walking through what appears to be a space with a giant puddle in the middle when WHAAAAAAAAMMMM.(I wrote it all spread out like that because it was like a slow-mo fall) I fall on the giant ice patch in the middle that is most assuredly NOT a puddle. All my clothes got muddy. My glasses fell off. My ipod fell out. I scraped my chin. I scraped my right wrist. I bruised the entire side of my left leg. I sprained my other wrist I think because now it hurts to move.

So that adds to my terrible horrible no good very bad day.

My class starts at 945 and so if I want to get anything done before class I really should get up at eight. I forgot to set my alarm last night so I barely even had time to brush my teeth this morning. We were almost late to class and I accidentally sat in the wrong seat and couldn't move because we were going to say the prayer. So I was in front of NickerBocker instead of to her right and she was fidgety and putting her knees in my backside. I didn't say anything which is my fault.

So that adds to my terrible horrible no good very bad day.

"I think I'll move to Australia." (quote from the book)

Bailey Fancy Boots of Cataan

I love my puppy. She's had a rough year, too.

Earlier this year, sometime in October, we lost Zoe to doggy cancer.

We all think about how it affects us but I haven't really put much thought into how it affected Bailey.

She lost someone important too. Zoe and Bailey were good friends, they shared everything and they looked out for each other.

Zoe had a seizure disorder and would have seizures every once in awhile. No one took care of her on those days quite like Bailey. She wouldn't leave her side. Literally. It was almost annoying how "at her side" Bailey was. But it was sweet simultaneously.

Now that we're down to just one puppy, Bailey has a bit more freedom. Because Zoe's cancer had caused her to become incontinent, the dogs weren't allowed out of the tiled kitchen area because of the potential mess. Now, Bailey can go almost anywhere she pleases.

In all three times I've been home to visit since September, Bailey has been the most visibly excited to see me. She doesn't have a tail but she wiggles her little behind so fast and hard that she can't really walk.

She loves everyone and we all love her.

Bailey, I know you can't read this being a dog and all but I just wanted to tell you how awesome you are. I'm so glad you're ours. Life at home would not be the same without you. Thanks for being so awesome, Baby Girl :)

I'll Be Home For Christmas

I'm BACK! again!

This is my third time home since I started school in September but this time is going to be better than the two previous times combined.

Do you know why?

Because it's Christmas time!!!

I think Christmas is the absolute best holiday ever.

The whole world just seems to be in a better mood this time of year.

Maybe, at least for us college students, it's because we're done with classes for a little bit.

Whatever the reason for the boosted mood, I love it.

I guess I should explain that picture up there, huh?

Our family has gotten to be quite close in the last few years because of a whole lot of what-not.

It's been quite a while since I've seen my sisters. Okay it's only been like a month. But still it's been a little while. And so I've missed them. And to show them my love, I am going to squish them.

As you can see the squishing has already begun. It's pretty great.

Another really awesome thing about Christmas time this year is that it's going to be a pretty much normal Christmas. We won't be totally swamped with our plethora of family which is a bummer. But we get to be together the five of us and do all our little traditions we have. Like we get to play Find the Baby Jesus! That's my favorite Family Home Evening. Minus the Seagulls one of course.

Well Grace is making me some chocolate milk so I'm gonna call it a night. But I'll be blogging with some frequency over the next two weeks that I'm home. So brace yourselves!

NickerBocker

This, dear friends, is an awesome picture. And the focus of my post today. This is NickerBocker and me chillaxing like it's any normal day (mostly because it was).

NickerBocker is a friend that I have made this semester at school and I'm quite glad I did.

We've become good friends fast and all the better since our mutual friend who for slight privacy reasons we'll refer to as Kristopher is extremely busy and we almost never see her. It's a shame since there seems to be a spot for her head in all of our pictures together. Not a very big spot but a spot none the less.

Anyways. Back to NickerBocker. She's pretty cool. Roughly once a week we go to the MC to eat and try to get some homework done. And we have ourselves a jolly good time. We almost always have some sort of candy bar easily divided between two people, usually a Twix or a Reese. She creeps on boys and says things like "My three o clock" or something like that and then I guess who she's talking about. Sometimes I don't get a clue that clear and she'll just say something like "Ooh he has really great hair!" and then I learn to guess who she's talking about.

NickerBocker also spends the night on a regular basis and we enjoy ourselves even more then. We'll talk and talk and talk. You would think we would've run out of things to talk about but it just doesn't happen.

The nice thing about our friendship is that we can be entirely content just sitting there in each others company. We can both sit on the same couch but basically not be anywhere near each other in any other way and have it be totally fine. We share things all the time. Like just last night we shared a rather large soda. That's pretty normal for us. I thoroughly enjoy her company and I like to think she enjoys mine as well.

The best thing about this new friendship is that I do believe it will be one to last. I love that we'll be able to keep this very relaxed and awesome friendship around for many, many years to come. Thanks NickerBocker for being my friend :]

I'm Back! With a Bare Tummy Revolution

I know, I know. You're thinking: 

Eliza! You don't post for over a year and then you post a picture of your bare tummy?!

Trust me though, there is a clear thought process behind it which I'll explain in a moment.

First things first though.

I publicly and wholly apologize for the length of time since my last post.

I'm not so good at this post regularly thing am I?

I swear, though, I'm going to start doing better. I have been inspired to do better.

My dear friend who for slight privacy purposes we'll refer to as NickerBocker (she knows who she is) has a blog that she keeps quite regularly.

Another dear friend of mine who for slight privacy purposes we'll refer to as J-Dogg (I'll make sure she knows who she is) has started a blog as means to keep in touch with others.

And of course my mother and father who both have regular-ish blogs as well.

All these fine examples have inspired me to do better.

Now. Back to that Bare Tummy Photo.

The other day while I was perusing the internet via StumbleUpon (which I will endorse but with caution. SUPER addictive.) and I came across this post on a website that, I'll be honest, I have no recollection of what it was called.

Anyways, the reason this thing stood out to me was because I was confronted with a menagerie of bare tummies similar to the photo of mine you've been assaulted with.

The whole point of these bare tummies was that they were normal. They weren't photo-shopped or sucked in or anything these beautiful women were ashamed of.

And I think that in itself is a bit poetic.

So I decided I wanted to be a bit of a copycat.

I am posting this picture of my bare tummy in demonstration.

I  am not always proud of my tummy because its a little softer than I would like it to be and it's so pale I'm pretty sure it glows in the dark.

However!

It does so much for me. It helps me eat yummy food and tells me (sometimes not so politely) when I've eaten too much. It keeps all my insides safe. It's skin is always pleasantly soft and smooth without me having to do anything. When I have children, that will be where they stay the first nine-ish months of their lives and it will be a safe place they can comfortably rest their heads for eternity.

Real tummies are beautiful.

Real tummies are strong.

Real tummies mean so much more than any model tummy.

And that, my friends, is why I post my bare tummy.

And why I am proud of my bare tummy in all its very soft, glow-in-the-dark pale glory.