It's Been Awhile

Man! Basically, everything that I wrote about in my last post is completely different.

I broke up with my boyfriend. Like forever ago it seems like. Every once in awhile, we'll text but it is very much platonic now. I've gone out with a couple guys since and of course I've had my crushes but I'm thinking I'm going to just lay low on the boy front the remainder of this year that I home. Honestly, I think the relationship I was in just moved way too fast. We didn't know what we were doing and we definitely weren't ready for all of it. Sometimes, even though it seems like forever, I wonder about him. I wonder if he thinks about me. But I don't let myself dwell on that.

Anyways, school is going really great. I'm acing basically everything. And it is so completely different from last year that I feel like I can do anything now. I'm changing my major. Again. And maybe again after this change. I'm thinking sociology. While communications is what I know I'm good at, sociology is completely interesting. I love every class related to it that I've taken. But now I'm thinking a little about going into some kind of special needs therapy. I've always liked the idea of working with special needs kids. I've done a bit of volunteer work with it but I would love to be really involved with it.

Looking for a job sucks. Did you know that? I've been on the hunt since I got home in like April and not a single job has come from it. I know that it'll happen when it's meant to happen but I need a job. And I'm just so frustrated with my lack of progress. It's hard to tell people I'm saving money when I'm not making money to save.

Well. It's already getting close to Christmas season which means I'm basically half way done with my year at home. And I find this incredibly exciting. I don't think I realized how much I would miss it or want to go back before it was happening. I'm hoping things continue to move forward and the rest of this "mandatory vacation away from the frozen wasteland" will fly by.

While I'm Away, I'll Write Home Every Day

So the past few years have been rampant with changes. I graduated high school and now I am finishing my first year of college. To be entirely honest, it's been a whole lot harder than I thought it would be.

This last December I also got my first boyfriend. He's a really sweet guy and I love him. I'm a little worried about the summer because he lives in Utah and I live in Southern California. We've kind of been doing the long distance thing the whole time we've been dating but it is going to be harder now. We've seen each other on weekends and sometimes during the week but rarely. Now, I don't really know when I'll see him at all. He's planning on coming down at some point in the summer but its still kind of up in the air. I hope it works out since I've met a lot of his family but he's met barely any of mine. And I have a lot of friends that want to meet him. No pressure for him though :] haha

Now, I am back in SoCal and I wonder what everything is gonna be like. Things definitely won't be like when I lived at home last summer. I currently sleep in a trundle bed that slides under my youngest sister's bed. We're working on changing that though because sleeping on a trundle bed is so not great.

I am working on getting a job. Once I get a job I'll have my own money to spend and I think it will help me to feel a little independent even though I'm living at home. Unfortunately, no one wants to hire a young adult that has literally zero work experience and won't work on Sundays. I would really like to work at Disney Land or something like that but the whole no Sundays thing seems to be a deal breaker.

I would like to go on a road trip this summer and go see all my friends that happen to be all over but I don't know if its possible what with trying to get a job. I would absolutely love to be able to go and spend a couple days back in Normal. It would be really awesome to be able to go up to Idaho and see everyone there too. It's kind of funny because they are both places that, when you are stuck there, you want nothing more than to be somewhere else. But once you leave, you want to go back so bad.

I love being home. I love being with my family. I love the warm. It's so awesome. Everyone is getting along really well right now but I worry that this state of kindness and sweetness won't last. Someday I know we'll all go back to just being family and get in fights and arguments and tiffs. Hopefully more days than not the world will be peachy.

Obviously, I have a lot of worries. A lot of stuff has happened but so much more has to happen. So much has changed but theres still a lot of change coming my way. I am where I am and I like it, mostly. I am here for better or worse, I cannot change my situation so I must make the best of it.