This year, I turned 21. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, this is a huge milestone and it means you are of legal age to drink. That part doesn't really matter to me since I don't drink and don't plan to ever drink. So I decided to think a little about what this birthday means to me.
I have been on this planet for 21 years. It has been twenty years since my first birthday where my parents assisted me in smashing my face in the cake. I don't have a picture of that on me but I have this one of my butt, five days earlier at my first Halloween!
I love this picture of me. I like it even better than the picture of me and my two similar age cousins from the front. I made a flipping adorable Pebbles if I do say so myself. So much has changed since then, it's crazy. Life was so much simpler then. I was ordered to take naps! Oh, what joy!
This picture is from when my sisters and I were way little but old enough that our shoes needed to be tied. Look at our hair! All of us, parents included! It's my opinion that the nineties were rough for hair. As a young family, this is right when I was learning how stuff works. I had to figure out how you're supposed to act around siblings. Like don't put them outside during Mommy Quiet Time. You get in trouble if you do that. I don't do that anymore.
If you count the candles, you can see this is from my sixth birthday. That's just before we moved to Illinois. My whole life changed course with that trip. I couldn't have known at the time this picture was taken that I would shortly meet my best friend in the entire world. I couldn't know that in the next ten years I would learn chocolate cake and chocolate frosting are the best for birthday cake, if you're too quiet you get passed over for some things, people don't mean what they say half the time, and (most importantly I think) nothing will ever stay the same.
This picture is from, quite obviously, my high school graduation. That's the year that I knew I knew that EVERYTHING changes. My grandpa got real sick and I learned people don't live forever no matter how much you love them. Later that fall I went away to school and learned that high school was a cake walk and college is way harder. Shortly after that, I learned priorities matter (that's a lesson I seem to still be learning). I learned for the millionth time that friends are easier kept when you live in the same state but I am also getting better at making friends.
Above, I turned eighteen. I thought I was finally a grown-up, a full fledged adult. Biggest lesson I learned, I'm soooo not. The only thing about me that was grown-up was maybe physically and legally. I still had (have) a lot of learning to do about being a grown-up and how that works. I thought I had learned how to set priorities (another one that I'm yet again still learning). I learned what it means to have a job and work. And then I learned not to look at the much bigger number above the smaller number they actually gave me (aka taxes kinda suck but everyone has to pay them).
This is 21 year old me. Penguins are my favorite animal. Tiffany blue is my favorite color. I love the zoo and museums of all kinds. I am working at my third job now. I'm going back to school in January. I have to buy a new radiator for my gimpy fish car.
Biggest Lessons I think I'm learning:
--->Life ain't easy. It never will be. But it's the people and things you surround yourself with that make the sucky parts worth while.
--->Our memories are what keep us sane. Everything may be changing but our memories will stay with us and comfort us when the people we grow to love most of all are no longer physically there.
--->You have to work at something really hard if you want it. Nothing will be given to you that's really worth having. And you will be given a lot of crap. That's something I think people like to give each other.
--->Most importantly, I am human. I am imperfect. I make mistakes. I struggle. I try my hardest but it doesn't always work. I have to learn to accept what's best for me even when I don't see it. I love my family and the friends I've made and kept because they support me and love me even when I do make mistakes and remind them I'm imperfect. I have a long, long way to go towards the person I want to be one day. But every day I take steps. Sometimes in the right direction, sometimes backwards, sometimes a little off to the side. My steps forward are always the most important and the biggest.
I'm growing up. I may be 21 but I'm still young. I've got a long road ahead of me. I will be strong, I won't give up.
